Growing Up......

I received the terse message informing me of my dad’s ailment on Thursday evening whiles at choir rehearsals. I ‘whatsapped’ my sister back and asked what the problem was. “Fever”, she said. I quickly brushed that aside without even replying the message. My sister and cousin accompanied him to the hospital on Friday, as I was told when I called to check up on him in the morning. Let me hasten to add that I did try severally to reach him on Thursday evening when I closed from rehearsals, but was unsuccessful, before I’m labeled an ‘uncaring brute’ by those who don’t know the kind of relationship I have with my dad.

There’s this young lady where I work who has developed a penchant for taking offence at my every tease. Those who really know me will tell you that I like to do that a lot – tease others, albeit not the harmful kind, and also enjoy being teased. The situation is so bad that she would not respond to any of my pleasantries when I try to offer it anytime I go to her office to transact any business with any of her colleagues. As a result of that I also developed a habit of not paying her any mind when we met in the hallway, staircase or anywhere.    

She brought an invitation card to my office about 2 weeks ago inviting all of us to her wedding which was held over the weekend. Now because of her feud with me, I figured the invitation was extended to everyone in my office save me. I actually decided not to attend as I thought she possessed a trait akin to that portrayed by Victoria Grayson from the series ‘Revenge’. I thought she could ask her handmaidens to hound me out of the chapel or reception grounds when she laid eyes on me, like Victoria did to her best friend Lydia Davies. I might be exaggerating though, but that’s just me – embellishing king. Paranoia, if you like.

A few days to the wedding, everyone in my office suddenly but surprisingly had something equally important to take care of on Saturday. My immediate boss and a colleague had funerals to attend, a colleague also fell ill during the week, one had to take care of her sick sister, whilst another just didn’t feel like going. Not a fan of any social gathering, I gather. I may be mistaken though. My boss gave me something to present at the gift table, as by some divine happenstance, I’d decided to attend. I was looking for a reason not to attend, regardless.

Fast forward to Saturday morning, after waking up from bed at about 7.30 am, but coming out of my room at about 8.30 am, my brother met me in the hall with the request that we take daddy to the hospital that morning. Apparently, he didn’t receive the necessary attention from the medical team at the hospital he was taken to on Friday. I nearly shouted “Hallelujah!” as I had found a perfect reason not to ‘travel’ all the way from Mataheko to Madina where the wedding was being held. After all, didn’t the wise sages of old say “Family over everything”? So we went to my dad’s house and took him to the hospital around 9.45 am. Before we got to the hospital, my phone rang, and the caller Id showed it was another colleague from work who I had arranged to attend the wedding with. I explained the situation at hand to him, and he understood. I also asked him to convey my reason to the wedding grounds and share it with anyone who noticed my absence and cared to ask. Now pay attention closely; the bride was scheduled to walk down the aisle with her dad at 11.00 am.   

It was at the hospital that it struck me that no one from my department would turn up for the wedding. Need I say that the lady we are talking about here is an HR officer, and would not fail to bring the issue of our failure to attend her wedding up, and use it against us when the idea of a salary review comes up? I’m just kidding, dear readers. But it just wasn’t characteristic of me reneging on a promise after I’d given my boss my word. So whiles awaiting the results of my dad’s lab tests, I asked for permission to attend the wedding. Now the time was 11.30 am, when I sought permission. I figured it would take a minimum of about 2 hours for me to reach home, go to my tailor’s for my pair of trousers he did some ‘repair’ work on, take my bath, dress up and travel to Madina. That would take the time to about 1.30 pm. The formal part of the wedding where they exchanged vows and kissed was supposed to last just an hour (Latter Day Saints), and the informal part where champagnes were popped, the cake cut, and the couple exhibited their dancing steps to the public eye as their first dance as a couple was also to last about 2 hours. Now the 2 hours stated earlier was the minimum! Nonetheless, I decided to go even if I happened to meet the decorated car in which the couple drove in at the T-junction, I’d still have shown my face, and presented the gift.

I did all that and set off to Madina. I didn’t know the exact location of the church. I was being aided by a directional map which was ‘whatsapped’ to me by a colleague on my small screened phone. I don’t think I need to tell you that we (the taxi driver and I) kept missing turns. But we found it anyway, after asking for landmarks from about 4 people. And when I looked at the time, it read 1.57 pm, and they were there, just about starting the ‘informal part’ I spoke of earlier. I met some of my bosses and colleagues there and had some fun mingling and chatting. I presented the gift and was presented with a gift in return, as is customary at every Ghanaian wedding these days.

When the whole ceremony came to a close and before the couple could drive away and live happily ever after, they came round hugging anyone who opened his/her arms for a warm embrace, and laughing at petty jokes told by family and friends. When the lady got to where I was standing with my colleagues, she said “Paa Kwesi, I really didn’t think you were going to come….you surprised me”! Then a colleague who knows about our seeming feud whispered in my ear… “You’ve made her so shy”!

And that’s where the thought hit me; this is how growing up feels like – juggling between numerous social engagements, making sacrifices, not reneging on promises, forgiveness, camaraderie and all.

Let me throw in what the Apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13:11… ^“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things”. This passage has absolutely nothing to do with one’s age. If you are a few days away from witnessing your golden jubilee on earth, and when you give your word to someone, the fellow laughs it off knowing you are going to renege on it, you are still a ‘child’. If you still bear grudges against people when you know what the Good Book says about forgiveness and brotherliness, dear reader, know that you are not growing.

I’m very glad I’m growing up! I can’t say I’m there yet, but at least I’m glad I’m walking and paying no mind to anyone on my way there.

PS: My dad is doing very well, thank you very much!

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