The Best Man

I have walked behind a groom on five different occasions - the first three as groomsman and the next two as best man. It is really a wonderful experience to be chosen by anyone to serve in either of these capacities (including maid-of-honour and bridesmaids) on their 'big day'. To be chosen, among other things, means you are trustworthy.

 Now after the third groomsman role, I decided I was ready for a 'promotion' and therefore declined similar offers under the pretext of non-availability or another flimsy excuse. Thankfully, I didn't have to wait a long time for that opportunity. My closest childhood buddy tied the knot and who best to walk behind him than yours truly? Not too long after, a big brother also tied the knot, and again my services were required.

Now quite apart from the fact that one will get a brand new suit and possibly an Italian hand-made shoe to match in either of these roles for free or at a 'subsidized' cost, it also requires more than the services given in the role of the groom's man. Here, you are given the responsibility of ensuring that the groom forgets nothing of importance for the wedding. It also requires your safekeeping of the wedding bands on the day. I've witnessed nuptials where the bands could not be found and the service delayed for some time for him to fetch it. Quite embarrassing, I know. Usually, it also requires one’s ability to eloquently introduce the newlyweds to thunderous applause and cheers amidst some music and dance from the guests after the marriage certificate has been signed, as well as proposing the toast. In fact, it sometimes involves one's ensuring that the couple are safe in their room after the long day.

Now after the second best man role, another offer was made which I respectfully declined because I wasn't going to be available, but I showed up just like the others. An offer for a lower role (groomsman) was made which I out rightly rejected. Ah! If an equal role had been rejected, how much more a lower role? Mtsewww. The reason why I rejected these offers was because I’m done being a best man (maybe one more –my friend Benjamin Yawson’s). I believe I’m ‘ripe’ for a promotion. Oh yes, I am! You think I was born to be a ‘follower’ my whole life? Please revise your thoughts.

As is custom of me, I thought of these in the shower today and saw the wisdom in it in reinforcing a point I made in a post I shared earlier in the year. I saw the semblance of the best man to the work environment. See, one joins a company as a junior officer and would want to rise through the ranks. Usually, age and academic achievements do not guarantee one’s getting to the top. Although they may play a role, experience and soft skills usually does. One’s success in ably handling a higher position depends on these. In the analogy of the best man described above, he’s usually able to bring to bear his experience when it is time for another to follow him up and down the aisle. I’ve realized this from my early days as a groom’s man. One is usually able to tell whether or not the would-be groom has the ‘experience’.

Admittedly, some people with little or no experience have been able to start and successfully manage large businesses, but aren’t they in the minority? These people are wise to surround themselves with the best team available to help them achieve their vision. This is same with those grooms who have no experience in the organization of weddings. They usually glean from the minds of other couples. In business, the majority of us start from a lower levels, and then gets to the point where one decides not to stay there any longer – one decides to climb the ladder. Please don’t depend on the grace of God to do the push, if you are not willing to take the first step. It is not for the lazy. In that lower level, one must purpose to learn all there is to know about it. Endure, and not quit the hardships as they come. These will build his capacity and muscles so he is not blown away by the tumultuous winds that come with the higher roles, because they sure are there.

So in your moments as best man or even a groomsman today, learn as much as you can. No knowledge is irrelevant.

Enjoy the fruitful week ahead make sure to vote peacefully and wisely.

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